Based on the survey I put out in late September/early October, you said that you wanted to have more content about family, parenting, and relationships. You also said that you wanted content about work and entrepreneurship, but we’ll cover those later.

I found an article related to this topic (“The Top 10 Reasons Marriages End in Divorce“). Here’s the quick list:

1. Lack of communication.
2. Finances.
3. Feeling constrained.
4. Trust.
5. Expectations from each other.
6. Your spouse doesn’t understand / fulfill your needs and desires.
7. Quick change in lifestyle.
8. Insecurity.
9. Religious and cultural differences.
10. Abuse.

We should avoid divorce, but just because a couple doesn’t get divorced, doesn’t mean that their marriage is successful.

Many times, you’ll hear that finances or infidelity are the main causes of divorce. While this is partially true, it doesn’t get to the root of the problem.

So, what is the #1 reason for marriages failing?

Selfishness.

We can also group that with pride.

C.S. Lewis defined humility: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

Ephesians 5 talks about relationships. It uses the relationship between Christ and His church as an illustration for how the relationship should be between a husband and wife. People (particularly men) tend to focus on the wife having to submit to her husband (verse 22). But they skip passed verse 21, which says that each one is to submit to the other.

It is selfishness that leads to infidelity. It is selfishness that leads to communication problems. It is selfishness that leads to financial problems.

We need to move past trying to fulfill our own wants and desires, and try to focus on others. This is what God did for us in sending Jesus to die for us. It wasn’t for His good that He died on the cross – it was for our good, our benefit.

Questions: What do you think is the top reason for marriages failing? How can you avoid selfishness in your marriage?