Have you ever covered for someone that didn’t do their job?
Has someone ever covered for you?
Has it become a pattern?
This is one sign of poor or missing boundaries.
I first heard about the book “Boundaries” from Dave Ramsey. Someone would call in with some financial struggle, many times involving one family member mooching off of others. Dave would introduce the concept of boundaries and recommend this book. I have since heard of it by several others. I finally started reading it myself.
What are Boundaries?
We understand physical boundaries, such as fences and lines in sporting events marking the legal playing area. Fences are designed for two main reasons: to keep people out and to keep people in. Both of these are for the purpose of creating safety.
We need more than just physical boundaries. We need boundaries in our relationships:
- At home
- At work
- At church
Ten Laws of Boundaries (as mentioned in the book)
- Sowing and Reaping
I want to look into a couple of these laws over the next several weeks. If you would like to get your own copy of “Boundaries” so you can read about these yourself, follow along, and add to the conversation, you can get it here (affiliate link).
Sowing and Reaping
Sowing and reaping is a Biblical law that God has established. It is cause and effect. When we do something, there is a consequence for it – whether good or bad.
For example (going back to a Dave Ramsey example), if a person decides not to pay their mortgage or car payment, then the natural consequence is that they would potentially face foreclosure or have their car repossessed. If there are broken-down boundaries, a family member or friend may step in to pay that bill – trying to help the person avoid the negative consequence.
While this is usually done in love (not wanting the person to be hurt), the person does not learn the necessary lesson. Instead they learn that it is okay to avoid their responsibility because someone else is going to take care of it for them.
The “tough love” thing to do would be to let the person go through the bad time, let them learn their lesson. You could then help guide them through it, but be sure not to do it for them.
Ready, Aim Fire! Winners
I would also like to announce the winners from the recent Ready, Aim, Fire! giveaway. Several registered to win, but congrats to Jon Stolpe and Wade Thorsen for winning. You should be receiving your copy shortly. If you would like to get a copy of this book, you can follow this affiliate link (it helps to support this podcast as well).