Today, my wife and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary!
Rivers Wedding 2003

This is a great milestone. Would you like to know my secret for a sucessful marriage? I used a long-lasting love potion on my wife, making her think that she loves me. Not really, but I don’t have a good understanding if why she’s stuck with me.

After 10 years, I thought I would have figured it all out. But I seem to know less now than I did when we got married. The reality is that I’m realizing how much I don’t know, even though how much I do know is increasing.

Here’s a couple things I’ve learned (and still need to work on):

1. Communication – Communication is probably one of the greatest needs in a marriage. Both partners need to communicate. Communication is a two-way street. It doesn’t work if only one is trying.

2. Selflessness – Don’t be selfish. I’ve known too many people that get married and then they just do what they want to do. Rule: Consider the other person first. Put their needs ahead of yours. It’s not always easy, but it makes for a much better relationship.

3. Forgiveness – It’s inevitable: your spouce is going to mess up. You’re going to mess up, too. Don’t let bitterness start to grow. Forgive your spouce! Along with that – apologize for what you’ve done (or, haven’t done). It’s not always easy, and some things take longer (and maybe counselling) to fully get over, but work at it.

4. Say “I love you” – Maybe it’s been since your wedding day, and they may look at you funny, but tell your spouse that you love them. My wife and I have probably said it enough to last a lifetime, but it’s not slowing us down. (I have a story about this, and I may share it in the comments.)

Question: Have you learned anything about making your marriage better?